These are probably the two most common questions I’m asked when I speak to a potential client.

When I help clients I work to their agenda, not mine and they will always have control over the process. I don’t tell them how we’ll work or what we’ll keep. We start where they choose, in the area that’s causing them the most problems. It could be that a bedroom is so full of stuff that they can no longer sleep there. It may be that they have books spread all round the house and they want to make space in one room to put them all together.   They may have a garage stuffed with boxes which still haven’t been unpacked from when they moved in several years ago. Their house may be ordered and organised but they’re paying monthly fees for a storage unit full of stuff which they want to sort through.  

We start by going through their thing and I ask them to decide what they want to keep. When I ask them about an item, this gets them to really think about it and what it means, if anything, and enables them to make a decision about whether to keep it or not. One client told me that this process made him accountable. Not to me, but to himself.

The process can take time. I worked with a client who found it very hard to let go of certain items of clothing. She knew she wouldn’t wear them again - they came from a time of her life that was over, but the decision was still hard to make. With some items we spent 20 minutes talking about each one before she was able to let them go. At the end of working with me, she told me she had found it “therapeutic”.  

I can encourage decisions and provide some perspective, but the choice is always the client’s.

Most people are (rightly) concerned with the environmental impact of their decluttering. Many of them though, don’t know the wide range of things that can now be repurposed and recycled. I do know, and I’m able to reassure them that most of what they let go can be reused in some way. I don’t believe though that a desire to keep something out of landfill warrants holding onto an item if that’s the only reason to keep it.  

So, if you want to get the clutter cleared but are anxious about working with an organiser, be reassured that with me it is a gentle process where you won’t come under any pressure or have any judgments made.

Contact me for a free half hour consultation and see how I can help to get it All Organised for You!

Many of us have things in our houses which have a story attached to them. The Chinese vases that Great Uncle Harry brought back from Hong Kong; the clock grandfather was presented with when he retired; the silver napkin rings which were a wedding present; or the chair that was in the hall of an old family home.   When we’re in the position of having to consider what we have - maybe for a house move - we often enlist the help of our families. They too know the back story of these items and they are just “Uncle Harry’s vases”, “the chair from Albion Road”, or “grandfather’s clock”. There is no thought or consideration about why we have them and often we don’t see them anymore. They’ve just always been there. Other family members wouldn't want the items in their own houses, but they are reluctant to see them discarded because of the obligations of the back story.  

When I work with clients, I don’t know the history or associations of any of their possessions, and I will simply ask about that clock, those pictures, that ornament. When a client tells me the story, it’s like talking to a therapist who is completely detached from it. As the client starts to tell me about the background of how Great Uncle Harry, or their grandfather acquired the item and how long it’s been in their house, they start to ask themselves the significance of it. Maybe Great Uncle Harry was their husband’s relative, they never met him and actually they don’t like the vases very much. The clock may have a loud annoying tick and is kept in a cupboard and never wound up. Once they have worked through the process of considering the item and its meaning to them, they very often then feel able to let go of it. They can tell family members that they don’t want it any longer, and if the rest of the family feel strongly about it, one of them can take it. Not surprisingly, when confronted with this, the family members often agree that it can be sold, or just given away.

For me, decluttering is about making mindful, intentional choices about what we have in our houses. Our homes are about us, what’s important to us and what we value. It shouldn't be about holding onto things from an obligation to other people. I wouldn’t want to think that someone kept something in their home that they didn’t like, simply because I gave to them, or that my children felt obligated to keep possessions of mine that mean nothing to them. I would prefer that they passed it onto someone who valued it and actively wanted in their home.

So, give yourself permission to let go of the things that you’re only keeping because of their back story and only have in your home the things that mean something to you. If you want my help to support you through the process, get in touch and let’s get started!

So, we’ve started to emerge from lockdown. Do you remember what you planned to do when lockdown started? Learn a new skill? Catch up with some box sets? Read all the Bronte novels? Finally get round to decluttering? I’m willing to bet that you’re more likely to have watched all 5 series of Line of Duty and read Wuthering Heights than to have decluttered your home. Why? Because what holds most people back from clearing the clutter is not time. They can become blind to what they have in their houses and until they’re able to think dispassionately about what they have, it’s not easy to make decisions.

People hold onto things for many reasons. For instance, items that they don’t actually like but feel they can’t get rid of, like things they’ve inherited or been given. They feel that they owe it to the person who left or gave them the item to keep it. When I work with someone in this situation, I ask them if they think the deceased relative or donor would want them to have something in their house that they don’t like. I remind them that it’s their choice what they have in their home and it’s not disrespectful to let go of an item they don’t like. It doesn’t reflect what they feel about the person who left or gave them the item.

Another reason people give for holding onto an item is the “just in case” scenario. I work with clients who tell me they may need a certain item in the future, or someone they know might be able to use it. This is really just putting off making a decision, so I will suggest to them that if they don’t realistically need it in the very immediate future, then someone else can probably use it right now. If they do need it in the future, they can always obtain another one, but to clutter up one’s house with things they “might” need at some point is like living in a warehouse.  

A big block for many people in clearing the clutter is the thought of where it will go if they get rid of it. Many clients say to me “I don’t want it to go to landfill”. For me, that’s not a good reason to hold onto things. Do you want your house to be a substitute landfill site? I know many methods of disposal which don’t involve simply throwing things away. Far more things can now be recycled than previously. Using sites like Freecycle means that items will be used by people who actually need them. There have been recent developments in waste disposal, such as the use of rubbish for energy generation and a big reduction in the use of landfill.  

So, if you’ve made a start on the decluttering and have hit a wall, or if you’d like to get started, get in touch for a free half hour consultation.  

There are four particular obstacles to clearing the clutter that I come across.

1. Overwhelm.

 When you live in a cluttered environment, it can be hard to see the wood for the trees. Clutter builds up gradually and living in it may become normal.  

When I work with clients in this situation, I encourage them to start slowly and take small steps. The initial focus could be the easiest - things with no sentimental value or obvious use, for instance outgrown clothes or things put aside for recycling. Alternatively, it may be more effective to start in an area which is causing most problems and impeding daily life, for instance piles of items stacked on furniture. Getting rid of larger items can make a big impact quite quickly which will then encourage more progress.

2. Change is hard. 

 Hoarding is a spectrum and people who don’t identify as full-on hoarders may still have mental/psychological barriers to letting things go. They find it hard, too, to let go of things which belong to past times or situations. With clients such as these, I encourage them to focus on the benefits of decluttering, such as more space, less time wasted on looking for things, being able to entertain friends and family in their home. Letting go of things from the past, doesn’t mean those times didn’t happen and keeping the items won’t bring back those times. The same approach of taking small, slow steps is also helpful in this situation.

3. Guilt/obligation.

This often applies to things which have been given or inherited. My sister and her husband are both the eldest siblings in their families. By default they've come to have a large number of family items which their siblings don't want in their own houses, but don’t want to see completely go. In these situations, I encourage clients to speak to their family members saying they don’t want to keep the item and if others don't want it, they will let it go. Equally, many of us keep items which were gifts, even if we don’t like them or use them. People then find it hard to let them go, but I remind them that it’s their choice what they have in their home. Just because you’ve been given or inherited an item, doesn’t mean you have an obligation to keep it. In my experience, people rarely remember what they’ve given and don’t make a point of looking for it when they visit. If they do, you can just say you’ve rearranged the room and then quickly change the subject!

4. Disposal

I’m very eco-friendly and dislike waste of any kind so I relate very much to my clients' desire that their stuff doesn’t end up in landfill. However, doesn’t holding on to unwanted stuff make your home into a rubbish dump? If we don’t deal with the clutter, there is every chance that it will go to landfill after we die. There have been many changes and advances in recent years as to what can be recycled. I have lots of recycling and repurposing solutions which makes it easier for my clients to let things go.  

So, no more excuses - now is the time!

What’s the hardest part of decluttering? It’s not finding the time. It’s making the decisions about what to let go. There is often emotion attached to things which makes it difficult to apply logic. Here are some questions to ask yourself when considering whether to let an item go.

1.      Do you like it? 

 We often hold onto things even if we don’t like the item or use it. It may be something you’ve been given and feel too guilty to let go. You may be keeping heirlooms from a sense of loyalty. Consider this: would you want someone to hold onto a gift you had given them if they didn’t like it? Would you want your children to feel obliged to keep an item if it meant nothing to them beyond the fact that it was once yours? Selling or donating an item means it will end up with someone who actually wants and values it. Your home is about YOU. What you want to have in it is up to you and no-one else.

2.      Have you worn, used, looked at or found pleasure in it in the past year? 

 If items have been in storage, maybe in boxes in the loft or an offsite storage unit, ask yourself if you have thought about them or missed them.  It’s unlikely that you can even remember what’s there.

 Go through your clothes. Think Pareto Principle here. This states that we wear 20% of what we own 80% of the time. So we have a lot of clothes taking up space which we rarely or never wear.

3.      Is the information it provides outdated? 

 Think old text books, dictionaries and atlases. The world is constantly changing, as are language and scientific theories. The chances are that when you want up to date information, you will go online rather than reaching for a book.

4.      Have you finished using it and see no reason to use it again? 

Think about items you have for a specific once-only occasion. For instance crutches from a previous injury, nit combs from when your children were little or tools for a particular job which you won’t need again. Pass them on and let them be useful for someone else. Avoid the just-in-case trap. Remember – your home is not a warehouse. It’s for how you are living NOW.

5.      Will you complete this? 

 Many of us start projects like crafts which are never finished and languish in the back of a cupboard, causing us regret and guilt. Commit to completing it within a specific time, pass it onto someone else to finish or just let it go.

6.      Are you spending too much time weighing the pros and cons? 

If that’s the case, try putting the items out of sight for 6 months. I can guarantee that when you get them out, you will be able to let go of most of them.

Working with someone neutral and non-judgemental can help with your decisions.  If you want my help - get in touch!

My mother moved house – from England to Scotland – because of one word she was unable to say. That word was No.

She lived in a little town and was an active member of the local church. As well as attending Sunday services, she took part in Bible study groups and helped out with various events. She was the go-to person whenever help was needed, for the simple reason that she always said yes. However, as time went on she began to resent these calls on her time. That made her feel bad, that she was being selfish. She had never learnt that it was OK to put her own needs ahead of other people’s. In the end she moved hundreds of miles away to a place where no-one knew her and she could start again.

Many of us struggle to say no, to set boundaries on what we do for other people. We may struggle to accept that our own needs are important and take priority. However, we can’t give from an empty vessel and if we run ourselves ragged doing things for other people, we diminish our effectiveness both to ourselves and to others.

Things to think about when we’re asked to do something:

·         It’s not just about the time, it’s about our capacity . Most of us can find the time, but are we filling our lives with commitments to other people, leaving no space and energy for ourselves? Trying to do too many things means we can’t give our best to any of them and we may find ourselves neglecting our responsibilities to ourselves, in terms of our own wellbeing. 

·         You’re not the only one . Sometimes when people ask us to do something, they apply subtle pressure by implying that if we don’t come on board, the event or activity won’t be able to take place or continue. My mother was always the first one to be asked because she always said yes. If she had said no, the people asking her would have had to ask someone else. Maybe someone who had more time, someone who wanted to be involved but hesitated to put herself forward. Someone who felt that it was always the same people who were involved and there was no room for her. Someone who might have brought a fresh perspective and new ideas.

 ·         Don’t be bounced into giving an immediate response . Always ask for time to think about it. Remember, it’s always harder to get out of something once you’re committed.

 ·         You don’t have to go the whole hog . Rather than agreeing to commit indefinitely, you could specify a period to be involved. If a regular commitment wouldn’t work for you, you could agree to help out at one event for a specified time (for instance, help out at the school fair for two hours, rather than join the committee with weekly meetings for several months.)

 ·         No is a complete sentence . However, many of us find it hard to say No, baldly, just like that. I soften it by saying “No, that wouldn’t work for me” or “No, not this time”. I don’t elaborate or make excuses as that can open up a debate where you find yourself having to justify yourself.  I don’t apologise either – that implies that I’ve let someone down by not agreeing.

The more you practice saying no, the easier it will become. In addition, you’ll learn more about yourself and what your real wants and motivations are. Doing things for the right reasons will make you more effective with the commitments that you do choose to take on.  Then everyone will benefit.

I recently worked with a client who had rented a storage unit for 10 years at a cost of £150 a month. My first thought after adding up the total to £18,000 was – that’s a brand new car. When we cleared the unit, the vast majority went to the tip or the charity shop. Very little was taken back to the owner’s house.

In my opinion, there is very little justification for keeping possessions anywhere outside the home. Exceptions include a situation where one is renting between the sale of one house and the purchase of another. Forces families and expatriates are also exceptions. But for me, paying to keep things where they aren’t being used and enjoyed is just a waste of money. It’s a postponed decision and often a costly one.

I’ve also come across a situation where someone has inherited a property and left it full of the Deceased’s possessions for many years. A property is exempt from council tax for 6 months after the death of the owner, but after this time council tax becomes payable at the full rate. Buildings insurance and water rates need to be paid and the heating left on if the house is not to fall into disrepair. This ought to be an incentive to get the property cleared as soon as possible after the death of the owner.

People who live in disorganised situations often have disorganised finances. If mail is allowed to accumulate without being dealt with promptly, fees for missed payments are charged, deadlines for reduced or early bird rates are missed and cheques are not presented to the bank for payment. In extreme cases, I’ve seen insurance policies being overlooked for renewal leading to losing out on payments for property damage, pet medical expenses etc.

Having too much stuff makes it hard to find the things which are needed and can force people to go out and buy replacement items, incurring totally unnecessary expense, and contributing to more clutter which continues the cycle of being unable to find things and making further purchases.

The investment of working with an organiser in all these situations will make savings in the long run. As well as clearing the clutter, I provide many strategies to help you stay clutter-clear, saving you money going forward.

A 30 minute consultation with me won’t cost you anything but may lead to big savings, so get in touch and see how I can help.

You don’t need someone to help you declutter and sort your stuff, do you? You can do it perfectly well yourself, can’t you?

But you haven’t done it …

Often, when we are disorganised and have too much stuff, it overwhelms us and makes it hard to see how or where to start. Clutter is both a cause and a symptom of depression which makes it hard to motivate ourselves. Often family members can see the problem more clearly than we can ourselves, but they aren’t the best people to help us. In my work I see a lot of tension in families and feelings running high when talking about the clutter and disorganisation. My clients often feel that their family members are judging and criticising and this can make them dig their heels in and refuse to engage. Family members can also become impatient with the pace of progress and let it show. However well-meaning, they can also hold back the process. I’ve heard them say - “you can’t get rid of that, it was Granny’s” - even when the person concerned has been able to make the sometimes difficult decision to let it go. Working with a neutral person who is detached from the emotional issues surrounding the disorganisation makes the process much easier. When I ask questions about why they want to keep a particular item, they are able to think about it without getting defensive or feeling they have to justify the decision.   I ask them about the item and its associations and very often they will realise that it belongs in the past and they feel able to let it go. I can also give them information about how they can get rid of things rather than just throwing them away. They may not know that, for instance, some charities will collect larger items from their house. They are not always aware of what can now be recycled and once I tell them, they find it easier to let such items go. They may not know about websites such as Freecycle where they can pass on unused items to other people.

After working with them, many clients have told me the experience was not what they expected, and when I ask them why, they say it was my patience and lack of judgment which they have valued most of all.

I am fully insured and DBS checked and a member of APDO - the Association of Professional Declutters and Organisers.